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How to spot a
liar ::
These few tips will help you expose even the
best of fibbers..
When you first meet someone nice, there are moments when you
can't help but wonder if they're for real or are they just making up most of
their 'brilliance'. To help you answer this question, here are a few guidelines.
They work, mostly. But remember, the ultimate lie-detector test is your gut
instinct. So combine both these weapons and put your date at test.
THEY REPEAT YOUR QUESTION
It's a red flag when you ask, "So, what did you do last night?" and your partner
replies, "What did I do last night?" In such cases, it's quite likely that
they're hiding something. One usually repeats a question to buy time and think
of an answer. The truth, on the other hand, will be readily on the tip of their
tongue.
THEY AVOID EYE CONTACT
This one even your grandmom warned you about. Take note when your lover speaks
but won't look at you. Fidgety hands and shaky knees are also signals of
agitation. Of course, some people may simply be shy, while others might be well
practiced at being dishonest. A good liar can look you straight in the eye and
lie up one side and down the other.
THEY TALK TOO BIG
They're rich, talented and claim to be famous too. A tad too unreal, isn't it?
The way to size up all that exaggeration is in the details. Ask inquiring
questions. If they won't give a more in-depth answer – such as the talent hunt
programme they claim they won – there's reason to wonder.
THEY PLAY THE FIRST-NAME GAME
You've been chatting up online and you two have planned a first date, but all
you know about them is their first name. If the person you're dating won't give
you their last name, you don't want to meet them. When they finally do tell you
their surname, check them out: A Google search takes a few minutes. Even some
background checks can help, especially with such people. And no, it's not about
being paranoid; it's being smart.
YOU DON'T MEET THEIR FRIENDS
You always want to corroborate what they've been saying. Meet their friends as
soon as you possibly can and get a better sense of that world so you can trust
them a little more. You have to be able to verify through other behaviour, other
actions, other people and other sources.
SOMETHING FISHY
If someone's telling you they love you but you don't quite believe it, ask
yourself, 'What do their actions show?' Do they treat you with respect? And take
a good look at their everyday life: If they say they are an MBA or engineer from
some big university but are working at the local bank, check into it. They can
sure be a banker by choice, but it makes sense to confirm.
THEY DON'T DISCUSS THEMSELVES
Their favourite phase is "No, tell me about you." Do they avoid talking about
themselves? Be wary: Most people love to go on and on about themselves,
especially when they're trying to impress. When someone turns it back to you
every time you ask something about them, don't ignore your instinct. When
somebody is evasive, you have to believe there's a good reason for it. The truth
will be a straight answer.
THEY'RE ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD
If they always seem to think of things before you do – where to eat, where to
sit, what to order – you may have stumbled onto a pathological case. As long as
they stay ahead of the game, they won't be caught off guard and won't be caught
in a lie. This type of deceiver needs to manage their tangled web, so he or she
maintains a firm control over the relationship.
THEY'VE LIED TOO SOON
It has to be a one-strike-and-you're-out policy. If you've only gone out a few
times and you've already caught them lying to you over a small thing – even if
it was about what they did over the weekend – then it's time to move on. You're
headed for trouble if someone barely knows you and they feel they need to lie.
That means it's just the tip of the iceberg. The bottom line? Lose the liar and
you'll improve your love life.